Nailing it

That is just how I feel, like I am getting it right, everything is going as it should. It is how I feel when I ace an exam, when I go into the hall and absolutely get all the answers right and I know it in the pit of my stomach that I will get nothing less than an A, and I do. It is quite apt for the time of year when the kids are getting their exam results, but that is just how I feel. It has been rough and if I am honest, it hasn’t been perfect, but it could be a lot, lot worse.

I moved recently and I had to hire some removals people for help with all the heavy lifting. When we got to the new place, we all looked at the front door and we were all sceptical about fitting the furniture through it, it looked too narrow. The removal guys even tried to take off the front door but couldn’t because it had extra hinges in for security purposes, so they left it alone. We carried on bringing things in and left the biggest things till last. Finally, it was time to bring in the big ones and to our surprise; they came in, without any fuss, fanfare or any struggle what’s so ever, it was as though we had imagined a problem where there was none. One of the guys commented that someone upstairs must be smiling down on me. He was so right because that is just how I feel.

Still, they say luck is 90% hard work or something to that effect, lord knows I have a positive attitude, I don’t know where it is coming from and I do whatever I have to do as best I can. I see the glass as half full as opposed to half empty but I am a realist, if a glass is empty, it just is, no matter what anyone says otherwise. But change is a-coming, I feel it in my bones and I hope I am right about this one, I hope I ace it.

Fly in the ointment

This means “A small but irritating flaw that spoils the whole thing”. But think of it from the point of view of the poor fly, stuck in a thick, sticky substance, unable to move, wings probably stuck in said substance and fallen off, so even if it got out of that sticky situation, it would never again be able to fly.

This is how I am beginning to feel, like a fly in some ointment. Not only am I spoiling the “whole thing”, I am unable to move and the more I try, the more damage I seem to be causing myself and to the ointment. I am quickly being sapped of all that positive energy and optimistic outlook I have hitherto been full of. Perhaps lack of a good nights sleep is instrumental in this latest depressed state after holding my head above water for so long. Even at the best of times, sleep depravation is never a pleasant thing.

The other factor is the ointment itself. I am trying as hard as possible not to mess up this ointment, I didn’t want to find myself in it but here I am. I fear I will soon be scooped up and dumped unceremoniously into the bin in an attempt to salvage the situation. But I am not a fly and I cannot/will not lose my wings. And who knows, if and when I get out of this ointment, I may have acquired some of the medicinal properties of it and use it for good. See, there, that is some of that optimism still shining through, so not all is lost. As the blog states, it is still swings and round abouts, there are some good things as well as all this mess.

This is the season for flies anyway. They are a bit of a nuisance but they still do serve a very important purpose. So even though they buzz around and cause great irritation, they are only about for one season and they would be greatly missed if they ever all go away.

Keep smiling

How does one remain positive in the face of adversity? A friend of mine asked me, "when did things come to this?". I have been asking myself the same question since the start of the year, but I don't have an answer for it. I am convinced that I will wake up one day and completely freak out because for right now, it doesn't seem to be sinking in. I say this because I remember one of the stories in school about pranks students played on each other. One that always freaked me out was the prank involving waiting for the prankee to fall asleep especially on the eve of their birthday and carry them in their bed to a strange location, most likely the other side of the school, preferably somewhere dark and deserted. Thankfully, this never happened to me but I always imagined waking up in the middle of the night, disoriented, in a dark, strange place, with no one else around, and assuming it will be outside, to sounds of "creatures of the night". what would I have done? run screaming and crying hysterically back to the dorms most likely, that is if I could sufficiently orient myself to find the right way home.

The most sensible thing to do would be to calm down, figure out where I was, walk calmly and safely back to dorm thereby avoiding clumsy falls and bumps and then find the architects of the prank and make them pay. As I said, thankfully, it never happened to me. That said, what I am experiencing now seems far worse than waking up in a haunted house, it does seem like a pretty bad dream yet I remain strangely hopeful and I'am not sure why. I have been lucky to have enough sensible people around me to tell me it will be all right in the end. In addition to this, I have lived long enough to know that nothing last forever but even with all that, given another time and place, I don't know how I would be handling the situation.

My father used to say that there is nothing that can fall out of the sky that the ground cant handle. I suppose he had a point, I mean after all, the meteor that supposedly killed all the dinosaurs did not destroy the earth, nor did it knock it off its path. In other words, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger? call me sceptical but surely, there is a place between death and strength, a bit of limbo where you are not sure if you want to be dead or run the next marathon.

But despite questioning my unusually sunny disposition, I certainly do not wish it away. there are days and times I do feel down but I allow myself to be cheered up by the little things, a call from a friend, a friendly word from a stranger, a good book or a funny film. Who knows, this meteor that has all but knocked me off course may just have done me a huge favour and killed all my dinosaurs. So here's to a speedy repopulation of planet me :)

Rage against the machine

I went to the bank today, it is a Saturday I know but I had to make a deposit. The branch was due to be open till quite late so I had plenty of time to get there, however, I parked in very expensive, notoriously risky part of town; I had to hurry so as not to get a ticket. I found plenty of parking, in itself quite unusual, pay the meter and rush into the bank. There was the usual bank of automated machines lining the wall. I have used them several times and they do not work for me. Apart from withdrawing cash, they do nothing else. I join the queue of people waiting to be seen by a real/human customer service person. There were 3 people in front of me, not a long wait, or so I thought.

I got in behind the last person and there was the usual customer service staff circling the queuing customers, trying to lure them away from the archaic practice of “Queuing”. Why not use or new automated service, it’s a machine, no idle chit chat, and get your transactions done quicker than speaking to a human (ironically, I thought, these people are talking themselves out of a job because soon, these fancy talking hole's in the wall will replace them all). I refused the offer, I always do, I end up wasting far more time at those machines and preferred to wait in line. Others in the line refused too, they too perhaps were now wise to the non performing robots. We carried on waiting and we seemed to be waiting far longer than seemed necessary. I wonder if the banking tellers were purposely wasting our time so we would start to reconsider using them. I say this because when you eventually get to a teller, they ask you all sorts of ridiculous, inane questions: "I see you are due a financial check up", "would you like to see someone" " no one is available till the next couple of weeks" "should we call you to make an appointment" "is this withdrawal for Christmas presents" and so forth. They have become like double glazing sales people, there is no getting rid of them.

I waited, and waited, watching the clock to make sure that I got out of the bank before my parking ticket expired; I was getting a bit anxious. There was a changing of the guard at the tellers, someone’s shift was over and it took her impossibly long to get off and hand over the reins to someone else. We were down to one teller now and the line had practically stopped moving. Then someone else came on to join the only other teller but instead of serving us customers, she counted money in that money counting machine thing, and shifted papers hither thither. What on earth is going on I wondered. Eventually, after counting the same cash over and again (I am convinced) she was open for business. She signalled to me and I went over to her. By now, the lobby was full of queuing customers and despite repeated calls for us to use the wonder machines, people still queued up as the machines were still not fully functional.

Whist I was eventually being served, I looked over at the other teller. She had just finished with a customer but did not immediately attend to another. I stared at her in sheer frustration to see if she was really making us wait on purpose, she was! For after the last customer left, she appeared to re-arrange her desk; she moved her calculator out of her way, looked at it and readjusted it, then she moved her stapler or something similar, she assessed her handy work and then shifted some papers, stared at her workspace some more, then when there was absolutely nothing left to shift or adjust, she called for the next customer and apologised, yes apologised for the long wait. I didn’t believe it, I was incredulous; had they been ordered to make people wait at the tellers so that we would be encouraged to use the machines. I was disbelieving, surely, they realise that when customers become dependent on these machines, their own jobs will cease to exist, and to be honest, with service like I have received on my last few trips to the bank, that would no big loss.

Still searching for a winner

In more ways than one really. I got the scratch card again from the post office, a different one this time, one nearer to me, but would I have the same good luck. I bought the same type of card too, not willing to experiment with any others, besides, this was the cheapest one, I am not sure I can afford to splash out anymore than a pound on one of these things. I suppose the greater the risk, the greater the reward but still, as a safe to nonexistent gambler, I have very little to risk to be honest.

I got the card and put it in my purse, as I always do. Maybe I should put it in my pocket next time or hold it in my hand until I get home, my purse could be an undoer of good things. There is hardly any money in it anyway. I left with the ticket safely secured and ventured into the charity shop. I really must stop going in there. I find I get books cheaply in there. It is also a bit of a lottery but unlike the library where I sometimes go for free books, I do not have to return them after 3 weeks. I borrow so many that I never have the time to go through them all and end up taking them all back en masse so I am not hoarding them when someone else could be using them. With the charity shop, for the grand price of 20p to 50p depending on the book and the amount I buy, I get to keep the book forever and not worry about having to take them back. I have made some good finds there too, but I must going there as every time I do venture in, I leave with a book or five.

I take my new book, a nonfiction paperback, based on turn of the century events which I find myself drawn to of late, and my scratch card and go home. I am currently reading another book so I do not even look at the one I got today. If I did, I would start to read it, I am like a child with a present or a selection of sweets and spoiled for choice. I leave the book in my bag. I eventually get out the scratch card, I always forget it until I am settled and reflect on the day; what have I done, where did I go, and then it hits me, oh, I have that scratch card in my bag. I wonder if my luck will change today. What will I do with a win; there is no shortage of things to do and get, places to go, upgrades of electrical and non electrical items, the list goes on.

Alas, the fact that I am not blogging "I WON, I WON!!!! So long loser’s" means that I am still one of the masses still searching fervently and hopelessly for a winner. So instead, my blog shall state, "long live us losers and long may continue we inspire each other and ourselves with our mundane lives and our ambitious dreams".

Two out of three

First, the exhaust falls off the car, then the toilet gets blocked.

As I drove with the kids out of the museum car park, I hit the kerb and dislodged the remainder of the exhaust from under the car. Necessity is the mother of invention they say, even though I have breakdown cover because the car is so old, I had to do something just in case help came but I still had to pay for something other than what is covered under my policy, so I crawled under the car and sorted the exhaust out. All that happened was that the exhaust slipped out of the hook that was holding it under the car. Crisis averted, no need for a mechanic and the inadvertent bill that would follow.

Then the toilet gets blocked. Cause of blockage was a whole reel of toilet paper stuffed down the pan: the stuffer; one of the said kids fresh from a trip to the museum. Once again, I rolled up my sleeves and went in there, dug and poked and prodded and eventually, whatever was holding things up moved and the blockage cleared. Another possibly expensive venture also averted as call out charges alone for plumbers is more than I can afford right now, not to mention parts and repairs. I have no breakdown cover for domestic plumbing.

These things happen in threes they say; I will discount the wet spot on the living room carpet that mysteriously appeared at the same time the toilet got blocked (strange), so what next I wondered. Well I bought a scratch card from the corner shop in an attempt to get change for parking. I only just remembered it and so I took it out, read the instructions and scratched as directed. Match two symbols on each line it said, and win the corresponding prize. The first line contained two mismatched symbols, nothing new there; I don’t have this kind of luck. No matter, I carried on. The second line had identical symbols, as did the third. Result. I looked at the prize, it was a tenner for each line; a £20 scoop, all for the grand investment of a pound. Not bad going. I am going to cash it in as soon as possible before it expires, or before it becomes clear that I misunderstood the instructions

All very strange, two out of three lines, eerily similar to the two out of three things that went wrong in one day. People say when things go wrong, it happens in threes, just like buses, you wait and wait and then suddenly, three come along. In this case, only two buses came along; I desperately wished the third ill away and in return, a limousine came along instead of the third bus. Well not so much a limo, more like an available cab. I do suppose it is true that you make your own luck, no use crying over spilt milk or sitting in the dark, it is better to light a candle. I took matters, literally, into my own hands and things worked out alright in the end. Except the lottery win, that was just pure luck.

Most time, we make our own luck, other times, we get tossed a freebie. One notices the freebie more if one chooses to, to be honest, that can be said of any good fortune, man made or natural. So here's to more freebies, may they continue to come, thick and fast, in threes in fact.

Beans on Toast

Beans on toast. It is a quick and simple solution to breakfast, lunch or even an evening meal when you are hungry and there is no time to get ready anything substantial and there is nothing substantial to throw together.

All you need is a tin of baked beans, some cheese of your choice, I prefer the more mature stuff, butter, and of course bread for the toast. I suppose different people make it in different ways. I tend to first toast the bread while I whack the beans in the microwave, having already opened the tin and emptied its contents into a microwavable bowl. Then, when the toast is ready, I butter the bread and throw the warm beans on it. Then I get a grater and grate some cheese over the toast, and then pop it back into the microwave for about 3 more seconds, just so that the cheese gets gooey. Then I cut the ensemble into four equal squares. It all takes a little over five minutes in preparation time. And then I proceed to eat, and a very filling meal it makes too, and it has all the important food groups, protein, carbs, dairy, vegetable (in the form of the tomatoes in the tomatoes sauce and beans, if that can be considered a veg).

All very simple and effective but look at the mess in its wake, just for a simple meal like this, knives, graters, plates, and the worktop; grating cheese can be a messy affair, however, still prefer this to buying ready grated cheese.

Despite the mess, this light and tasty meal has often proved a lifesaver!

It felt different this morning...

I could get used to this. It is a large blogging community, i look forward to being part of it. i wonder who will be the next Julia/Julie (or is the other way around?)

wake me, I am dreaming

What happened I wonder?

Did I fall asleep and wake up in an alternate reality? It all feels so weird, everyone is concerned and yet I am still in a blissful state of calm. It hasn’t registered as yet; this is my body and my minds way of protecting me in times of great disturbance. Instead of feeling the whole impact at the time, it slows things down but then eventually, after the event, it seems to register. This way I suppose, I remain rational in the face of turbulence. I don’t freak out too badly afterwards either because then, then worst has passed.

I happened upon an old newspaper at my sister’s house, it was an advert for budding writers, it was like a sign, a cue from the gods. It said if you have the urge to write, then this is for you. And so I followed its advice and went on the website, registered where it asked me to and eventually found my way onto this blog. And there are a lot of budding authors out there and since that is what we (yes I said we) authors do, there was a lot of advice, encouragement, testimonials and success stories in general. I suppose as a writer, a story of ones failure usually makes for good reading.

I have always wanted to start a blog of my own; I am broke as is the requirement for most artists and so when I was directed to this free blogging site, I was pretty chuffed and started to write right away. As it turns out, several years ago, I actually posted a picture of my sons at Christmas on this same website, I had just acquired a new phone and was messing around with it and as a result, the picture got posted on this blogging site. The posting was meant to be a test, I left it there and pretty much forgot about it. Just the other day, I wondered what had become of that picture in cyberspace, I wondered if the account had been closed as is the case with redundant email accounts.

As I re-registered on the blogging site, I found that the picture was still there. I put it there 5 years ago, it seems like ages ago but then it is. So much has happened in that time too. I may have to take the kids picture off so that I can blog with relative anonymity.